Well it's been awhile!!!

I apologize to those who actually follow this blog (I know there are at least a few of you :P). I have been so nervous, excited and overwhelmed with this pregnancy that I've totally slacked on my blogging. But I am back - I promise.

For some updates: today, I am 12 weeks pregnant. I have officially hit the "safe zone". Meaning that, after this point, the chances of a miscarriage dramatically drop. That said, I was already feeling pretty safe. My doctor scheduled me for an ultrasound when I was 7-and-a-half weeks pregnant. It was amazing! We saw our little baby (looked more like an oblong "blob", but I was still in love!), the heartbeat, beating perfectly at 158 bpm (causing my husband to sigh the biggest sigh of relief I have EVER heard - and this from a guy who said he wasn't worried!), and learned that our new love was measuring at 8 weeks - right around where he/she was supposed to!

On the down side, the dreaded morning sickness hit me - hard! I have never vomited so much in my life! Luckily, I think it may be finally starting to go away. Though I was sick today, the three previous days were great - no vomiting, and very little nausea. I just want this to end before Christmas!!!

Speaking of Christmas...about a week before then, I am set to find out the sex of the little lentil. I can't wait to stop referring to this blessed baby as an "it"!!!

- B

And the Dr. confirms it...

I am definitely pregnant!!! I had a Beta HSG test which confirmed what I already figured out...

I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At first, I was concerned because my Beta seems so low (40). However, it was taken 3 days before my period was even due...and my doctor says it's fine...PLUS I looked it up, and apparently Beta levels vary a LOT in early pregnancy, and my level is okay for someone who got tested as late as 5 weeks...so hopefully I am okay!

I am scared stiff that something will go wrong, but I'm trying to calm down. My first ultrasound is in four weeks...why so early, you ask? I think they're doing mine early since I used fertility medication, and they like to know early if you happened to have gotten pregnant with multiples (twins, triplets, etc)

So thrilled! Yet very cautious, of course!

-B

I think it's true!!!

Tested this afternoon with a First Response Early Results test...!!!

Could it be...?

Do you see it???

No Luck to You!!!

Just a quick note to let you all know that no one managed to guess my Clomid-related side effect - nausea!!! Nothing too bad, and basically just on the days that I was taking the pill. I am very glad to have avoided the major mood swings and hot flashes that I've often heard about!!!

More posting later...

-B

So Far, So Good...???

My first cycle of Clomid is going good so far...having managed to avoid many of the side effects of the medication, I am optimistic about this actually working (and by that, I mean, "work" by making me ovulate...I'm not so optimistic about the pregnancy thing yet!). I figure that my body responds very well to other hormonal drugs...so why wouldn't this work?

I appreciate the continued wishes and prayers from friends and strangers alike - who knows...maybe my/our prayers will be answered...soon!

- B

Starting Clomid!!!

Or rather...I started! Today, I started my first dose of Clomid (a fertility medication that helps make you ovulate...it's a pill, nothing too crazy yet!) Now I suddenly feel like SuperUterusWoman!!! This is going to be the first month that we might actually have a CHANCE at getting pregnant.

However, something very sad is now hanging over my head. And that is that I found out that my dear friend, Anne, has just miscarried her baby...she was already into her second semester, and I imagine that this is a big shock to her and her husband. Please everyone, keep them in your prayers!

- B

Is it working?

Well, I have finished my prescription of Prometrium...so far, nothing has happened (no "Aunt Flo" has arrived to visit, that is!). However, I am feeling quite crampy at the moment, so let's hope that this means the proverbial ball has started rolling.

If I can start my fertility drugs soon, it'll be great timing; my husband has a two-week vacation coming up, so it will be a nice and relaxing time for us - perfect for baby-making!!! Although, I admit, I'm still quite the pessimist about this. I honestly don't see myself, for example, being pregnant before Christmas. I'd love to be proved wrong...but something tells me that I won't be that lucky.

- B

Fertility Drugs It Is

So, the doctor has confirmed what i already suspected (well, really, what i already knew): I do not ovulate. His next course of action? "Fertility Drugs". How scary is that word?

He gave me Prometrium to induce a period...guess I'll get that prescription filled tonight. If that works, we'll be starting on Clomid. Of course, I still have yet to talk to my husband about this. I'm not sure what his feelings are about fertility meds at the present time, but hopefully, he'll be okay with something that is just in pill form (at least we still get to have sex! ha ha!). Still, it's a conversation that I'm not looking forward to.

I guess I should look at the bright side. Currently, it look as though annovulation is my only problem. So far, he doesn't suspect any other conditions or diseases. So I should take that as a blessing. Still...I have this gut feeling that I am in for a long road ahead of me...

- B

Tuesday is the Day...

...that I found out whether or not I ovulate. At least, as best as they can tell from monitoring hormone levels.

I am guessing that the answer is going to be a big, fat, NO (at least for this cycle, which is really all that they can check). The doctor has mentioned that if I don't ovulate, we'll obviuosly move on to medication...however, I don't know if he will want to start that right away, or test my progesterone for a few more cycles. I guess I will find out on Tuesday.

It feel like D-Day to me!

-B

My tired brain...

So, I just re-read what I wrote yesterday (very early in the morning, if you ask me) and realized that I did not leave very many details as to what my doctor visit provided me. So here goes:

I went in to see this doctor for the first time (I had wanted to be referred to him for months!) In the interest of confidentiality, let's call him Dr. Lovely. The first thing that Dr. Lovely wanted to do, after recording all of my information and complaints, was a pap smear and internal exam. No problem (I'm lucky...these are not painful, or even remotely uncomfortable for me). He said that I have a great uterus, that everything feels perfectly normal, and so far so good. He also did an exam on my thyroid - all normal there too.

After I got dressed, we discussed what might be happening to my body. He says that contrary to popular belief, at this stage in the game, my irregular cycles are NOT linked to coming off of the birth control pill (I didn't think so, but when you hear something often enough...) He prescribed blood work to be taken on certain days of my cycle, to test my progesterone levels. Apparently, this will give him an idea as to whether or not I'm ovulating now (and does not recommend charting, stating that it's only 70% accurate, whereas the tests and medical histories he's compiling will tell me within 99% accuracy). Basically, Doc Lovely thinks I'm either not ovulating, or ovulating irregularily.

(He actually seemed more convinced that I may be ovulating irregularly, but I think he may be overly optimistic)

Anyway...I asked him, what happens if I am ovulating, but very irregularly...it's hard to get pregnant with cycles over 100 days!!! So, I guess depending on the results, I might start some type of medication to help me ovulate. We'll just have to see how things go now!

Good News from the Gyno

First of all, I am just going to start off by saying that I love my gynecologist. Nothing is uncomfortable with him. It's wonderful and amazing.

Anyway.

He basically ruled out endometriosis (yay- I was worried about this since my mother had it, and there can be a familial link), set up some more blood work, and new appointment times (very soon, actually!) and said to me, "Well, let's just see what happens with this blood work, and then we can see about you getting pregnant with three babies ASAP". He has a very relaxed attitude about everything, which helped me a lot. He told me that it's unlikely I have anything serious, and that because of that, if the blood tests indicate that I'm not ovulating, it's a relatively easy thing to fix. I feel so much better now. And less impatient. I guess knowing that things are moving along, and that the doctor is very pro-active about fertility issues (no matter how small!), suddenly makes this whole thing seem like less of a "if" and more of a "when"!

So...on to find out if I ovulate! Stay tuned...

- B

Good News, I Guess!

I had my appointment today. All of the tests (thyroid and glucose levels, FSH and LH hormone levels, etc) came back normal! I guess I should be relieved, but the pessimistic side of me keeps thinking that if something IS wrong, I would rather it have been something simple like a hormone deficiency instead of something bigger. I asked my doctor why he thought I might not be ovulating if my hormone levels are normal. He said, " Well, it could be something such as endometriosis or PCOS". Oh, great.

At least I know that part of me is working properly, and it gives me a TINY bit of hope for this cycle. Next week is my "real" appointment (with the OBGYN). Hopefully, this will yield more answers to my questions...and even more hopefully, more " normal" results!

- B

Tomorrow?

I'm back to being nervous.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my regular family physician (my OBGYN appointment has been rescheduled for tomorrow). This family doc is the one who actually ordered the hormone-investigating bloodwork, so I'm hoping that he also has the results and can speak with my about them. Currently, I'm ony day 17 of my cycle, and no sign of ovulation. So, needless to say, in light of my recent issues, I'm not overly optimistic for this month. Let's just see what tomorrow brings.

Wish me luck!

-B

Appointment Rescheduled

So, my new appointment date is July 16. I don't like the fact that I have to wait two weeks for it, but since there's nothing I can do about that, I'll take it. However, I do see my family doctor this coming Tuesday. He is the one who originally ordered the blood work, so I'm guessing that he will also get the test results. So my HOPE is that on Tuesday I will at least know SOMETHING...and if not, two weeks.

Two weeks, two weeks...

- B

So Irritated

So my appointment got cancelled...I am frustrated about this, but the doctor had to do an emergency operation, so I completely understand. What is making me boiling mad is that for some reason, the message regarding the cancellation was left at my parents house (my doctor's office must have given the OBGYN the wrong number) a few DAYS ago...and my parents just kept forgetting to tell me. So, my long-awaited appointment is cancelled, and I could have known a lot sooner...which means that I could have re-booked the appointment sooner...which means I could be getting some answers a lot sooner....argh
NOT a happy camper right now

-B

Appointment Tomorrow, Getting Nervous

You would think that, after impatiently waiting over a month for an appointment with the OBGYN in order to get the results of my blood tests, I would be somewhat excited for my appointment tomorrow. Or at least interested. After all, it represents the "next step" in this whole I-want-a-baby-dammit phase of my life. However, the closer the date comes, the more nervous I get. And now, that date is tomorrow.

It really should be no big deal. I just had some simple bloodwork done, mostly to test hormone levels, blood glucose, etc. to hopefully (or not) get some kind of idea as to why my "cycles" are all over the place (or, in most cases, none-existent). Given the fact that I haven't received a phone call in the past 5-6 weeks, I think we can safetly assume that I am not dying. However...

I am scared about the results. For two reasons. One is obvious: I am scared that they will find something wrong. Logically, I know that if they DO find something wrong, it isn't the end of the world. So many medications and therapies are available to help with hormone deficiencies, that I really shouldn't get so worked up. Even so, I dread hearing the words "infertility issues".

The other thing I am nervous about? Is that they will find absolutely nothing wrong. I know, I know, that seems strange. Wouldn't that be a good thing? Not really. Because if they find nothing...what does it mean? What can be done? If everything is normal, why is my body screwed up? If this is the outcome, I wonder what comes next? More tests, I suppose. Or a longer waiting game? The waiting is the worst part.

Sorry for my Debbie-Downer ramble today. Hopefully, after tomorrow I can report back with a more positive outlook.

- B

Getting Started

Hello all.

I feel the need to apologize in advance if my blog entries in the future lack proper grammar, spelling, or coherent thought. Often, I have my "computer time" at ten-past God-knows-what in the morning when I am half-asleep, or half-awake, depending upon how you look at it. So if and when the time comes where one of my entries makes absolutely no sense, I promise to do my best to edit it later!

So why am I here? Why am I blogging about "the road to pregnancy". Well, there is one simple answer: therapy. This whole process of getting "knocked up" is driving me absolutely bonkers, and I need an outlet. I know what some of you are thinking: "Why are you SO stressed out? You've been trying for less than a year!!!!" This is true, very well true. In fact, we've only been "really" trying for about six months. However, due to the fact that my body is very clearly rallying against me, I have not ovulated in that time. Mind you, it is not uncommon to have some issues after taking the birth control pill for an extended period of time, but come on! I am not even getting my ever-aggrevating "monthly friend" for months at a time. So yes, we're only been trying for "less than a year", but nonetheless, it has been a frustrating experience so far. And it is my hope that this leap into the land of blogging will help me to work through my feelings and frustrations....and perhaps, in time, a whirlwind of happy emotion?

- B

Blog entries to come: Annoying Things People Say, and Is Everyone Pregnant Now?