You would think that, after impatiently waiting over a month for an appointment with the OBGYN in order to get the results of my blood tests, I would be somewhat excited for my appointment tomorrow. Or at least interested. After all, it represents the "next step" in this whole I-want-a-baby-dammit phase of my life. However, the closer the date comes, the more nervous I get. And now, that date is tomorrow.
It really should be no big deal. I just had some simple bloodwork done, mostly to test hormone levels, blood glucose, etc. to hopefully (or not) get some kind of idea as to why my "cycles" are all over the place (or, in most cases, none-existent). Given the fact that I haven't received a phone call in the past 5-6 weeks, I think we can safetly assume that I am not dying. However...
I am scared about the results. For two reasons. One is obvious: I am scared that they will find something wrong. Logically, I know that if they DO find something wrong, it isn't the end of the world. So many medications and therapies are available to help with hormone deficiencies, that I really shouldn't get so worked up. Even so, I dread hearing the words "infertility issues".
The other thing I am nervous about? Is that they will find absolutely nothing wrong. I know, I know, that seems strange. Wouldn't that be a good thing? Not really. Because if they find nothing...what does it mean? What can be done? If everything is normal, why is my body screwed up? If this is the outcome, I wonder what comes next? More tests, I suppose. Or a longer waiting game? The waiting is the worst part.
Sorry for my Debbie-Downer ramble today. Hopefully, after tomorrow I can report back with a more positive outlook.
- B
Oh. Hello.
10 years ago
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